Content warning for: descriptions of anxiety and panic, medical environments and symptoms, (possible) medical malpractice
Here we go again, unfortunately. Thankfully most of what's happening to me this time is unrelated to the previous post about medical issues (though I still feel some of the heart weirdness from time to time) but right now it feels way more frustrating.
So here I was thinking I've learned a valuable lesson since last incident: do not go to the fucking hospital unless you are visibly dying. So this time, since the symptoms were less immediately threatening, I decided to book specialized doctors instead. What could have possibly gone wrong?
The Timeline
- My mom goes on a trip and catches a virus or something that affects her digestive system. She recovers ridiculously fast.
- A week or so later I catch the same thing off her. It hits me harder than it hit her and I do not fully recover.
- I go to a doctor who prescribes me probiotics and light digestive mobility meds, gives me one million tests to do in I don't get better in a week.
- I do not get better in a week and so I take the tests. One of them is a lactose intolerance test which makes me feel sick but I feel a lot better after the resulting emptying of bowels.
Lactose Intolerance Denial
The first red flag is that the doctor insists on me taking a celiac and lactose intolerance test even though I've told him I've never ever had issues with either. And of course the lactose test comes back positive, because I wasn't digesting lactose well at the time... but I was also not digesting fucking anything well at the time so that should not be the smoking gun he thinks it is in my humble opinion. He got weirdly fixated on the positive lactose intolerance results and only brushed over everything else, including one that pointed at a liver inflammation (I do not drink or eat heavy fats) and general digestive inflammation apparently strong enough to cause cardiovascular issues in the future?
My mother who for some reason insisted to be in the room with me and the doctor despite me being 24 years old, got mad at me because I didn't ask about that. As if:
- He wouldn't brush it off because he already picked a diagnosis he liked.
- I wasn't trying to not kill myself in front of both of them because I will be trapped in an eternal medical nightmare unless my ribs start showing.
Also he told me to stop eating potato so much even though during the initial visit he prescribed me a diet that was pretty much only potato and chicken. Lol lmao.
And this is especially frustrating because this time I didn't have weird fleeting unregisterable heart issues, I had concrete digestive issues that showed up on the test resullts! I have occasional pain on the exact same spot every day and he ignored that completely! I can't win! I can't fucking win!
Your Bones Just Suck Man
Determined to be a leech on the public health system, I have decided I would also address another long term issue I've had: jaw pain.
Not knowing much about dentistry, and still having all my wisdom teeth in my mouth, I've always thought that it was a wisdom teeth issue. But I've never done anything about it because it's not strong constant pain and because at this point I know better. But then a couple months ago I've discovered that dentistry is actually covered by the public health system somewhat! So, since I'm already looking into stuff, why not something else?
The catch was that you have to show up at the public health place an hour before it opens and then hope there are not 4 other people in front of you in line that also need a dentist. Because the dentist will only take 4 people a day minus returns. Thankfully I got lucky on my second attempt today.
Truth be told, this section of the post is not about a bad doctor. This doctor was really kind and let me know that my wisdom teeth are perfectly fine and any other dentists who insist I take them out just want my money. She was also able to detect what the "actual issue" is. So what am I complaining about?
That phrase is in quotes because the actual issue is one of those disorders that is basically "your body sucks but it won't kill you". She was honest with me and told me that it isn't something the public health system usually covers so I'd just have to keep an eye on it.
She then told me to keep a diary with all instances of jaw pain and that she'd only follow up with me if in a month there are 7 or more occurances of 7/10 or higher pain scale pain.
Me When I'm A Doctor And Have To Do My Job
It's very petty but things like these make me wonder what the purpose of medicine even is. To fix only the things that kill you? What about things that make you want to kill yourself? What about the elusive "quality of life" that always shows up on drug commercials? Does it only apply to people living in the TV World? Does it only apply to skinny people?
This is putting the dead horse in a centrifuge at this point but I believe the "fat and anxious" diagnosis should be like, the last resort and not the first. I don't even think I have anything serious, I probably just had a really bad IBS flareup and maybe still have an ulcer or something, but I would like to know that so I don't imagine I have cancer every day and night and thus make my Quality Of Life even worse.
Also the answer to "why do doctors hate doing their jobs", in this case, is "the public health system does not pay them enough to care". The first doctor straight up said he couldn't send me to doctors in a specific area because all the good ones quit because they weren't paid enough and the remaining ones are the inexperient and naive ones.
Having said that I will be extremely selfish and propse that maybe I shouldn't be forced to to experience one million different non lethal pains every day for the rest of my life unless I stop being fat? Crazy concept, I know. I'm woke like that.
The Future
I have had frequent headaches all my life and they have been getting worse which I assume is due to stress but even without stress they are still there. So theoretically that is what I will be looking into next, except there are apparently only 5 neurologists in the public health system and all 5 work in the same hospital many states away from where I live.
My mom suggested looking into a doctor outside of the public health system this once, which I would like, but if I'm going to be diagnosed fat and anxious I would like to not pay money for it.
So yeah if I don't update this site in like a year assume I died of a brain tumor or something. I should look up if you can posthumously sue doctors who gave you an extremely wrong diagnosis, that would be so awesome.
(I probably won't die but I do wish I was dead every time I go to the doctor for anything.)